The existence of husband will remain within the son and his wife

25/06/2019 15:10

Sixteen days after the decision to donate all of his 26-year-old sons to other patients, Mr. Pham Van Thu has not yet eased the pain of separation. However, despite being abused by the people “the son die, the father gets to be famous”, he also ignored the rumors because of a mind that his son’s child and wife will feel their father and see him still exist in this world.

Family decided to sign the organ donation consent of their son Pham Cong Tuan Anh.

Suffering for the separation too soon


26 years old, Pham Cong Tuan Anh (Dong Hoa commune, Kim Bang district, Ha Nam province) left without knowing that his body is carrying a serious disease. A month before his death, Tuan Anh was hospitalized constantly because of headaches have tortured him. The pain started from around March 2016, but after the wrong diagnosis of food disorder with vomiting symptoms at the district hospital, Tuan Anh was transferred to Bach Mai Hospital with a completely different pathology – an aneurysm in the brain. At this time, the serious aneurysm caused the struggling headaches.


The unforgettable morning of 14th May in Mr. Pham Van Thu’s life – Tuan Anh’s father. Early in the morning, he took the bus from Ha Nam to Ha Noi bringing a razor as his son told him so. Just when he enters the room, his son could only look up at his father and fall into a coma. Luckily recovering in time, Tuan Anh regained consciousness, but now, he is no longer able to speak but only cry. Tuan Anh was quickly transferred into the emergency room for surgery, but the chance of saving life was gone.

Tuan Anh left but saved the lives of many other people in danger.

In the extreme panic when losing his young child, Mr. Thu took his son back to his hometown in Ha Nam to take care of his death. But with the mind of Try for last chance –  Còn Nước Còn Tát”, he contacted a doctor from Viet Duc Hospital in his hometown to ask about his son case. “I have not thought about organ donation at this time. I just thought, if there is a chance to save my son’s life, why not try even though there is only small percentage of hope, “Mr. Thu said. On the afternoon of May 16, Tuan Anh was resuscitated by his family and doctors to the Viet Duc Hospital.


Two days after resuscitation, the doctors announced the situation was better but the family also needed to prepare for any sad news coming over. On May 18, knowing that his son could not survive, he suffered pain, thinking that his son could not save his life, why didn’t he try to save others’ lives. Despite the discontent and dissatisfaction of some of his relatives, Mr. Thu decided to donate his son organs. “It was very painful when I decided, but I thought it was easier to keep a part of my son’s body” Mr. Thu said. 


However, what he feels the most is the days when he was hospitalized, Tuan Anh did not know what his condition was. “Sometimes he asked me how he kept forgetting everything. I only know to say, stay healthy and have a healthy diet to wait for surgery. At the end, we still hid the disease to avoid giving him a stressful thought” Mr. Thu said emotionally.

Mr. Pham Van Thu has many pain because his daughter-in-law is sick, his grandson is too young.

The pain of a left-over wife and baby


16 days after his son left, Mr. Thu remained calm to receive all the inquiries from many social organizations. When he was asked about the decision to donate, Mr. Thu said that he decided alone. This decision was only because, Tuan Anh’s son was less than two years old, too young to fully understand this separation. His wife is no longer a conscious person after suffering from postpartum depression.


“By now, his wife has not yet known about her husband’s departure. When her husband was still in the hospital, we only dared to let her visit for about an hour and then returned. If she is deeply touched, she will not be able to bear it, but will get worse. “Mr. Thu said.


Sitting next to Mr. Thu, Vu Thi Van (46) – Pham Cong Tuan Anh’s mother-in-law, said that since she knew her son-in-law had to go to the hospital, the family had to use higher doses for his wife because fear of shock “More than a month, my daughter slept smoothly throughout the day, only stays awake for about 1-2 hours a day. Until now, my daughter did not know that her husband had died. I don’t know when my daughter will be free from illness so that my family will be better off  ”, Mrs. Van said, then she cried.


Tuan Anh’s wife fell into a state of depression and mental illness after giving birth for a month. Three months in the Central Psychiatric Hospital 1 for emotional disorder, Tuan Anh’s wife was outpatient treatment at home. But just when she stop using medicines, Tuan Anh’s wife fell into a state of babbling all day and wandering around.


Because of his daughter-in-law and grandchildren in that situation, Mr. Tran Van Thu just made a decision to leave a part of his son’s body still present in this world. Mr. Thu said, “In my heart, I think, his wife is ill, my grandchild is small so I want to keep his parts so that later, when his son grows up, he will still see his father alive. I hope when his wife regains consciousness, she will feel very happy to know that his husband’s organs are still alive ”


This strong decision was made by the days of hospitalization, Mr. Thu knew how many fate needed healthy organs to have a chance to extend life. In addition, from the story of the donation of a native from Ha Nam, and he is also participating in the Ha Nam Hometown Club, he is even more determined.

Ms. Vu Thi Van feels sad for her daughter who did not know when to get out of mental disorder after her husband died too soon.

Now, after the pain of separating their child when he was too young, Mr. Thu and Mrs. Van also faced greater worries. Ms. Van is taking care of her mentally ill daughter every day, not knowing when she will be healthy and normal. At Mr. Thu’s house, the whole family also devoted their efforts to the young grandchild Pham Trinh Minh Khoi less than two years old.


In the story that was interrupted many times, Mrs. Van’s small shoulders fluttered, and Mr. Thu also secretly wiped his tears. The most desirable thing for him is that his grandson is healthy and his daughter-in-law is soon cured. “I just want to have some organization to support my daughter-in-law, to help her parents both sides bring her back to normal so she can raise her son as well,” Mr. Thu said. 


Thiên Lam/  Nhan Dan Journal


Tagged in: Tags:

Support online

Save patient’s life in a timely manner through online consultation

With a system of online consultation that allows physicians at two side far from to exchange information, consult remotely and provide timely professional support in surgeries that are difficult to unify treatment plans optimal for patients.   Recently, doctors of Viet Duc University Hospital have consulted on online emergency with…

Read more